Petty Arguments
by Damnthenamedoesntfit
Summary: Where Kakashi and Yurei aren't getting along, Minato is amused, and the poor bandits caught in the crossfire think Konoha-nin are insane monsters. (One shots and drabbles from YCSWYD and Feminine)
1. Petty Arguments

**Petty Arguments**

* * *

Kakashi and Yurei were going at it…again. It was right in the middle of a battle did the argument arise. Minato learnt to leave them be. It was better for everyone…and mostly himself. He cringed at the memory of the first foolish time that he had disrupted their fight. The two eight year old chunin were arguing in the middle of a mission, smack dab in the middle of enemy territory, and during an ambush.

The argument itself was rather comical, and Minato had no idea how it even started. Yurei was the only one able to rile the stoic boy so much to the point of a shouting match that neither of them were willing to drop. The enemy were baffled that a couple of children were wiping the floor with an entire battlement of bandits, while simultaneously arguing. Their jonin leader didn't seem concerned at all.

Minato had leapt up to sit on top of a large boulder, sat down and pulled out a box of popcorn and watched the show. He didn't even care that the bandits hurled their cheap swords and kitchen knives at him. He just leaned side to side, dodging the projectiles. The bandits soon forgot about him, and tried to get rid of the larger threat. The children.

"I'M TALKING TO YOU DICKWAD! DON'T IGNORE ME!"

"LIKE I CAN IGNORE YOU! STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR!"

Minato wondered why he picked them as his apprentices. Maybe it was because they were both prodigies, maybe it was he thought they were adorable. He couldn't quite remember… He then began to wonder how they would react, when he told them he would be taking a couple of the next batch of graduates as students the next year. Minato shuddered to think of the chaos that would follow.

They bickered back and forth, taking down their enemies. They even got into a competition of who could take down the most, and began to toss their downed enemy into their own piles. Dazed and unconscious bandits were being unceremoniously thrown across the clearing where they had set up their own ambush. Obviously, things did not go as planned.

"THIRTEEN!"

"FOURTEEN!"

"SIXTEEN!"

"ASSHOLE! YOU CHEATED!"

"I DID NOT!"

"ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?! FROM FOURTEEN THE NEXT NUMBER IS FIFTEEN! DO YOU KNOW HOW TO COUNT YOU DUMBASS?!"

"OF COURSE I DO! EVEN IF IT WAS FIFTEEN MY NUMBER IS STILL HIGHER THAN YOURS!"

"NOT ANYMORE MORON! NINETEEN!"

As they crossed paths, their shoulders bumped against each other, throwing off their balance and they tripped over each other's feet.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR BASTARD?!"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! IT WAS YOUR FAULT YOU STUPID GHOST!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY SCARECROW?!"

They spun on their heels and began to attack each other. The bandits sweat-dropped. If these little demons were kids, they were never having children.

"YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL!"

"I _AM_ A GIRL!"

"DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT!"

"WHAT?! I'LL HIT YOU SO HARD YOU'LL BECOME ONE!"

Their blows became more violent, and they started to try maim each other in vital areas. A foolish bandit, who thought he could do better than his comrades, tried to hit them in their distracted state. They turned their heads towards him and a slow, mechanical and scary way. They glared at him with demonic eyes. If looks could kill, he'd be six feet under, pushing up daisies with the shinigami dancing the Macarena on top of his grave.

Chakra and killing intent spiked. The bandit started to sweat. His bladder thought that now would be the right moment to relieve itself.

"What do you think you're doing?" They growled in union. In sync they smashed their feet in his face, breaking his nose, and knocking out his teeth.

"YOU'RE INTERRUPTING OUR FIGHT!"

Another bandit took this opportunity as a wise time to flee. He sprinted out of there like the Kyuubi was on his heels, hands clasped together, screaming what they thought was a prayer. They heard 'mummy' too many times to be normal though.

Yurei picked up a random spiked mace, and hurled it at the fleeing and crying bandit. It smacked him in the back, and he lost consciousness.

Only then did they realise, that all the bandits were knocked out. Yurei was the first to move, dashing away to raid and count her spoils. Kakashi did the same. As Yurei sat on her pile of human bodies, she grinned triumphantly. She had found several scrolls and weapons that she would definitely keeping. She counted her pile of unconscious bodies.

"I got twenty four!"

"I got twenty five!"

"WHAT?! BULLSHIT!

"Don't be a sore loser!"

"IN YOUR DREAMS! THERE ARE FOURTY EIGHT ALL TOGTHER! HOW DID YOU GET TWENTY FIVE?! ARE YOU STUPID?! YOU CAN'T COUNT!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT CAN'T COUNT! I GOT TWENTY FIVE, YOU GOT TWENTY THREE! SIMPLE!"

Minato sighed and tuned out their bickering. At least they got the mission done. He was hoping that they would stop arguing after the fight. In the corner of his eye, he saw them trying to stake their claim over the guy they knocked out together.

"I'M THE ONE THAT KNOCKED HIM OUT!"

"NO! I DID!"

He was beginning to get worried when they started a game of tug of war with the man. The poor guy was being stretched like a toy. Yurei had his arms and Kakashi had his legs. The guy couldn't take much more before he would be split and torn in half. He decided to break it up before they could murder each other, even though their fury would be turned on him.

"THE FIRST ONE BACK TO KONOHA CHOOSES WHERE WE EAT DINNER!" He had to scream over their bickering, otherwise they wouldn't hear him. They froze. Then, in a flurry of movement, they dropped the poor guy, and literally shoved their pile of bandits in prison scrolls. In less than a minute, they had packed up and sprinted out of the clearing in blurs, leaving behind dust trails.

"I'LL GET TO KONOHA FIRST! SO BACK OFF YOU STUPID SCARECROW! WE'RE HAVING RAMEN!"

"WHY DON'T YOU BACK OFF?! I WANT ONIGIRI!"

Only after the dust trails disappeared did Minato finally realise that he was alone…and last. He took off after them, anime tears streaming down his face.

"They left me! WAIT FOR ME GUYS!"


	2. Changing a light bulb

**Changing a light bulb**

* * *

A light bulb goes out during a jonin meeting.

Yamato is currently on strike from being pushed around too much, so he refuses to help.

Gai thinks its unyouthful, and runs off around Konoha on his hands to charge up the spring time of youth. He then proceeds to light up the room with a blinding smile.

Raidou attempts to knock Gai out because he doesn't want to go blind. His attempts prove unsuccessful as Gai prances around with his genjutsu activated, scarring several newbies in the process.

Genma is spitting his senbon at the dartboard, experimenting if the darkness would challenge is 100% bulls-eye score.

Anko joins in, and they get into a contest of who could get the most bulls-eyes in ten seconds. Said contest dissolves into how many times they could cheat without getting caught.

Kurenai thinks they're both childish and places them in a genjutsu where they act more mature.

Izumo and Kotetsu aren't there. They're too busy 'guarding' the gates of Konoha. They are currently napping on the roof, thankful that they don't have to attend the boring jonin meeting.

Jiraiya is supposed to be there, but he's too busy peeping on the women in the hotsprings.

Shikaku is taking a nap on the floor, while Chouza is stuffing his face with grade-A Akimichi snacks. Inoichi is playing mind games and hazing the newbies. Ibiki also joins in on hazing the weaker jonin.

The Hokage is lightly dozing in his chair and puffing on his pipe, not at all bothered by the darkness.

Asuma wants to smoke too, but Kurenai smacks him into fixing the light bulb. As the tallest, he reaches up to fix it but realises its one of the stupid seal activated ones.

Yurei is currently not in the village. She's running around the ruins of Uzushiogakure and picking up scrolls, so she can't fix it.

Aoba bribes Ebisu into going to the expensive seal store to pick up another light bulb. He then coaxes him into changing the broken one.

Kakashi breaks it again just to see what happens.


End file.
